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He thinks I did it for Maximino. He actually believes I gave my heart to him and I admit, at one point I did.
But that wasn’t the case now.
Of course I let them all believe it, but Nick... He knows better. Or maybe I only thought he did.
All it took was for me to walk into the High Roller’s Lounge one misty night to find that Maximino had left early to take care of some business. I had nothing better to do so I pulled my camera out hoping to see some inspiration.
The cat track was deserted at that time of night and I was thankful for it. I sat down at the stands and wondered what I was doing there, waiting for Max. He had told someone to tell me that he would be back later and that I was to be treated as they would him. I suppose it was a sweet gesture at the time.
The wind was softly blowing and I missed the way it once felt on my skin. Looking down at my hands I closed my eyes brought them together. It just wasn’t the same and, of course, it never would be.
My mind faintly wondered what Maximino looked like with skin. For some reason I kept coming back to the idea that he wouldn’t have been attractive. I don’t even know why it mattered.
Never would I get to see him with skin.
The steps that night echoed towards me and I had thought Max was back but the usual arms around my shoulders didn’t come and I turned around to see Nick smoking a cigarette with one hand and holding a martini with the other.
I suppose it paid to be Maximino’s lawyer.
I had an incredible urge to take a picture of this man slowly making his way to join me.
“Lola.”
“Nick.”
I have no idea when we ever got on a first name basis considering we hardly talked but I took it as it came.
“Why do you wait for him every night?”
“Why shouldn’t I?”
“Because he doesn’t love you anymore.”
It was said with such certainness that I suppose he didn’t. Before, I never had to wait. His business was mostly conducted around me and times he could see me. Maybe we were falling into routine.
“I don’t know if I love him anymore either.”
The silence stretched between us from a few seconds to a few minutes until Nick finally got up, probably to get another martini. I watched him go, but he turned around and his sockets locked with mine.
Once again no words were spoken and he left.
A few moments later I left as well. There was no point in waiting around for Maximino. I could see him later and maybe Nick was right.
A week later I was back in the stands and Nick came out to me again.
“Lola.”
“Nick.”
The greeting was always the same.
“I thought you stopped waiting.”
I thought I did too. So why was I here?
I knew the answer was not for Maximino... I knew I shouldn’t have been doing what I was about to, but I always fall for the wrong men. I can’t help it.
“I did stop.”
And that was invitation enough for him to sit next to me and down the last of his drink.
I don’t remember how we went from the kitty stands to his office, but the next thing I knew we were leaning on his desk in the dark, locked in a kiss, and fumbling around with each other’s clothes.
I let Maximino break it off with me and continued to see Nick in secret until one day when I ran into Max again. He didn’t want me back, but he did want company and thought I wouldn’t mind if it was with me.
I did mind though, and when he kissed me I angrily pulled away hoping Nick hadn’t arrived yet but he had and all I saw was him walking out of the bar.
I tried to go to him but was held up by Maximino until he realized I had no interest. By the time I ran out of there, Nick was gone.
He didn’t care to see me again after that and I was broken hearted.
And now here we were, in the lighthouse and Nick was pointing a gun towards me and demanding me to give him back the picture.
“You’re pathetic. Give me what I need so I can get back to taking care of my affairs.”
I wonder if he noticed his play on words. His affairs. Maximino’s club affairs and his own affair with Olivia. For a while, I wondered why he continued on with her when she was still with Maximino but did not continue on with me.
It didn’t take me long to realize the answer. She doesn’t love Maximino. She never did. I loved him at one point and Nick thought I still did. What a fool.
“You’re never getting that picture Nick.”
Couldn’t he see? I didn’t take it for Maximino. I took it for him, but maybe he just didn’t care either way.
He stepped closer to me and forcefully crashed our lips together but he also pulled the trigger as well.
I fell limp in his arms and instead of dropping me he laid me down and said “As long as no one gets that picture I’ll be fine.”
A moment of silence and I said “I didn’t take it for him.”
Clarity flashed on Nick’s skull soon replaced by indifference. He abruptly got up and left leaving a ghost of a kiss on my lips.
Not even a goodbye was said.
...I just wish he could have just seen it sooner.
Instead, I’m lying in pain waiting for the unknown while he pretends to never have even given a damn about me.
And maybe he never did.
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