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Disclaimer: Grim Fandango belongs to LucasArts. I'm not making money with this story and I'm not associated with the company in any way.
THOUGHTS OF THE TALENTED ONE
The day started normally with no problems. I started my work day at noon after lazing in my bed for a while. This cursed island hasn't become any more interesting during the time I've spent here, so it's no use starting the work too early. Otherwise I'll get bored in the afternoon.
The first thing I did was of course putting my clothes on and making sure that I looked good. Of course there is no one important on this island to judge me, but a man has to have some principles.
So, after taking care of myself -- not too difficult, I have to admit. A handsome piece of bone like me doesn't have to see too much trouble to look good -- I marched into my office and checked if Meche had brought me any new papers to sign.
And she had. I spent a half an hour writing my name and admired my work after that. This work is so different from the slave labour I had to put up with at the DOD. Now I have free time and can do whatever I want to.
Or, what I am able to do on this island.
But that's not important, let's concentrate on my day. So, after taking care of the morning work I decided to go and move my legs a little.
"Fun with the papers?" I asked Meche as I walked past her. She lifted her eye sockets from her work and glared at me.
"Screw you, Domino!" she snapped and I laughed. Boy, she really has the hots for me. Then again, who doesn't?
I continued on to see how those two annoying little things were doing. I do it every day because there really isn't too much room for walking on the island.
The children were sitting in a cage when I arrived. I hadn't expected anything less, I had the only key and they weren't clever enough to pick the lock.
I sat on the desk opposite them and eyed them for a moment. They both stared back and tried to look like they were busy. Light bulbs... A pathetic job for pathetic little creatures, if you ask me.
"Let me see," I said to the girl, what's her name... Well, whatever, it doesn't matter. Anyway, she gave me the bulb and I turned it around in my fingers. I wasn't really interested in it, but I had to get my fun somewhere.
"Not very good. Try harder next time," I said and crushed the bulb under my shoe.
"Hey!" the boy exclaimed. His name is Pugsy; that I remember. He bit me quite hard a couple of days ago.
"What?" I asked.
"Why did you have to do that? Bibi worked on it the whole morning," he said.
"Pugsy, don't," the girl, apparently Bibi, said to her brother and tried to make him stop. Not with success though, the annoying flying rat continued to irritate me.
"You are nothing but a big meanie. You keep us in a cage because you are afraid of us!" he snapped.
Frustrating. I paid for their living, after all. Children are never grateful, but complain about everything. That was why I never had any. Or maybe I did, but even if I did knock up some women they never came back to me.
"Carry on," I told the duo and decided to return to my office. Maybe Meche had finished something new and I could sign something again.
When I arrived to my office and sat behind my desk I noticed that nothing new had happened. I leaned back in my chair and stared at the ceiling. It was a good past time activity, at least when compared to the previous one.
Suddenly I heard steps and when I turned to look I saw that Meche had arrived. I expected her to bring new papers, but her hands were empty.
"Take me! Please!" she begged and threw herself at my desk. Well, I obeyed and charged at her like a wild animal. I ripped her clothes off her and kissed her with passion.
"I have wanted you since I first saw you," she admitted.
"Roar!" I growled.
Okay, so maybe that didn't really happen, but hey, let a man have his fantasies! Hmm, boy, that was nicely written. It's a miracle that I am not a famous bestseller author. I am so good at writing that it wouldn't be difficult for me to come up with something. Heck, I am so perfectly talented in everything that it hurts.
I spent the rest of the day in my office listening to music. I have bought these funny ear things in Puerto Zapato. They weren't around when I was alive, but those who have died after me brought the invention to the Land of the Dead.
A brilliant idea, I have to admit. Almost like something I could have come up with.
Well, anyway... What other interesting things did I do today? Oh yes, of course! After listening to music I took out my boy calendar. Now, I don't want you to think that I swing that way. No way in the world!
The thing is that I have made a calendar of myself, with pictures and everything. I came to the conclusion that no one -- be it a woman or a man -- is good enough to please me. So it was natural to make a calendar of myself. Mm, yes. I'm hot stuff.
Meche is just as excited about the calendar as I am. Of course she hides her passion behind an expression of vomiting and sharp words, but anyone can see through that.
One day she will get tired of pretending and will admit that she wants me. That's right.
So, there is nothing else to write about this day. Just a regular, brilliant day to be me.
The End
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